Creative? Yes

Time consuming? Yes

Pathetic? Quite Possibly

Embarassing? Now it is

Okay, so first things first, in case you couldn’t tell… Yes! I write Backstreet Boys Fan Fiction stories. Yes, I use my creative juices to write stories about five of the best looking guys who stand in a room together day after day (actually it may be down to only four—think Howie—oh wait! I forgot how bad Kevin’s looking…)

And yes, I enjoy writing them and hearing what others have to say about them. And yes, I enjoy going back to read them. I’m sad and pathetic, yes. I’m terribly bored and creative, yes. Terribly embarrassed now? YES!

Let me explain as quickly and painlessly as possible. I bowl for our school and last year, second semester, was when I began writing the story. Marmar told CarriAnn (from bowling) about my story and she wanted to read it. At a tourney in Wisconsin, Marmar brought "Saved the Best for Last" with in the printed form for CarriAnn to begin reading. During that evening we were reading through the chapters, passing them along in a story when Stacey walked in, wanting to join the deal and asked to read it.

Now on that particular weekend, Marmar came along because there was room and just for the fun of it. On the ride up, I drove her and Stacey and of course all we listened to during the ninety minute ride was Backstreet. What else is there when no radio comes in?

So, Stacey finally realized how my ‘liking’ had turned into an obsession and how much Marmar encourages me on this (haha). Now, Stacey had not said much about the story or the Boys in quite some time. But, last weekend at a tourney in Milwaukee I brought my discman to listen during our breaks and busted out the import (blue) CD and was listening. Coming to the second to last track, I bust out laughing and you all know about the All I Have to Give (conversation mix) being so priceless! Well, I let Stacey listen to it after she asked (because she wanted to be in this deal I was making—even though I was speaking the words out loud to make Jackie laugh.

Now, after she’s done listening she laughs at it, then Kelleigh and Deena ask what she’s laughing at, and she decides as plenty of members of College Bowling are walking by to say, "The Backstreet Boys."

UGH GOD!

But, it only gets worse even while others were staring at me…Come this past week, Marmar comes by to practice and we start talking saying how I saw Mercutio (the AJ look-a-like here at Northern) and the she says how she saw Abu (the Mercutio look-a-like who lives in my building). Yes, I know it’s confusing, but I’ll try to explain at another time.

So, Deena asks, after hearing these odd names and seeing us excited about it, what we’re talking about. I tried to be discreet and say, "this guy who lived in our old dorms and looked like a Backstreet Boy."

She nodded with an ‘oh’ and turned back to whatever she was doing. It was over, and settled….NOT!

Stacey decides to say, "Yeah, they’re obsessed with the Backstreet Boys," and she keeps talking all loud (like she always does) saying that "Amy’s written stories about them, [insert annoying giggle here]."

I groan; there is no way to save face at that point. AHAH! It only gets worse.

This past weekend we were in Indianapolis, IN, (yes we get around) and in the girls’ room with Joey and Ben (two of the guys) while Joey picks up my discman asking what CD I had in it. Luckily (but partially unluckily) it was only a burned CD from mp3’s. After he asks what songs are on it, he’s going through it track by track and I give out the track list from memory, but mumbled with "two Backstreet boys songs."

Now, I gotta love these guys, because they just chuckled, with Joey saying, "I like how you said that, [repeats my statement just as muffled as I was]." Okay, cool, it’s dropped, no one says anything.

Then Stacey busts out with, "Yeah, she’s real obsessed with them. She writes stories about them and everything."

Insert ass kicking here….Not really, I just wish I did. I rolled my eyes, laid out on the bed and sighed. What could I do? Absolutely nothing. Luckily neither Joey or Ben said anything about it, THANK GOD!

I mention to Stacey later on the way home about how ‘pleased I was by the embarrassment.’ And she just uses her annoying giggle to say that she didn’t think it was that big of a deal and she didn’t think no one knew.

WHAT??? How retarded is this girl? So I told her that not many know and I’d like to keep it that way.

But, redemption at last, I told Jackie and Mike (I know them from bowling—neither were at this past tournament) and Jackie’s like, "Does she know what to say and what not to say?" Apparently not! And then Mike says, "At least you’re doing something creative, what does she do?"

AMEN MIKE!

So, I suppose this was my ranting about Stacey blabbing about, like she always does. And this is my way to redeem my creative juices. I have no idea either way what it says about me that I want to be a writer, yet spend all this time writing stories that could never be published, who knows?

All I can say is a big fat thank you to Itzah, Julianni, Marmar, Mikey and Jax for groaning at the story just as I had asking how embarrassing that it must have been.

Yes, it was. But hey, it’s just a character builder, right?