Around that time, I found backstreetboys.com and read their little profile things. I thought it was the coolest thing to read to find out about them. How naïve I was. I do know now that it’s all rather basic. So I read how Kevin was practically raised in a barn. Yeah, I know, it was a log cabin. But hell he was in the woods surrounded by wood and grass, that’s pretty close to a barn, kidding. And I read how he likes the Eagles and I’m like “Dude! I love the Eagles.” (I like a band called the Eagles. You may have heard of them. A band called the Eagles.) Sorry, I digress, he likes Elton John and my dad does too, so I’ve always listened to him and always liked him. Billy Joel, too. It’s the little things that count. Granted, my upbringing was quite a few steps up from a cabin, but I’m thinking, this guy is interesting.

I always thought he was good looking. The first video I ever saw of him was Everybody and I remember thinking, God, these guys are so weird looking. But that Kevin was the best looking. He wasn’t great, but he was pretty cute. Looking back, I think he was gorgeous and that Brian was pretty good looking too. But then, I wasn’t thinking that so much. Also, back to when I used to make fun of Gina, I used to make the comment, “Yeah they look good, but only one can sing?” I think the song was Quit Playing Games and I thought Nick’s voice was too whiny.

Back to last year…I read all the profiles of all the guys. Why? I don’t know; I was probably bored. I come across one Alexander McLean and I liked very much. VERY similar music interests. I LOVE the Temptations (just ask Ang). I love Brian McKnight (just read my story or ask Ang, Mar or Kat). I love the Motown stuff. And I especially like his voice being all scratchy. Yeah, did I add that he was born exactly six months before me (add on a year or two. But date-wise it is). My joke with Mar is that my birthday is “his favorite number,” 6-9 and that I bet he would be willing to trade birthday’s just to say his is 6-9. God knows I have made that joke about my birthday quite a few times. Okay, so back to AJ, favorite TV show? Seinfeld (me too). Goals? To get a college degree (me too.) Alright, so I’m stretching it there a bit. That was more out of a joke. Then I read about his ideal lady and he says how he would like a girl no matter their size or looks, etc. That he wants to run his fingers through long hair and have girls run their fingernails down his neck. That was the moment I was like, hell ya. I love this guy because he just sounds so cool all around.

I think the funniest AJ comment—that wasn’t my own—was when I’ll Never Break Your Heart was out and Jackie was watching the video when AJ sings “You walked in, you were so quick to judge,” she says, yeah with that hair who wouldn’t judge you? Funny shit man.

So it was right around this time where I’m also thinking, man Kevin’s kinda good looking. What’s his deal? All I know is that come summertime, I was online at night searching BSB sites when I had already been a self-proclaimed BSB-hater. I just hated that idea of the pop music where the guys were so commanding of little teenyboppers. So I start sending Mar pictures of AJ. I don’t remember if she came out and told me she liked him, or if I was looking at the pictures too because I kinda liked him or what. But then I started coming across pictures of Kevin and I’m like hyperventilating over here. I’m thinking, shit man, where’d you come from?

So then AJ had his moments of strangeness, like humping the floor in the Coming Home-Orlando video. And Kevin was looking hot in every single outfit he had on that I had to become a full blow Kevin fan. The man is so fucking gorgeous, I cannot say that enough. Dark hair, green eyes, buff bod. Come on! Who could not love that? Well, besides the whole eyebrows thing (it is not a uni-brow. There are two separate beings!). And that old Oasis hair cut...ugh! But he got over that.

And he had been gorgeous ever since. Well, until he started growing his hair out! AGAIN!! On MTV’s interview, he wears that stupid condom hat (that’s what we call em because they are so fucking gay.) Then, at the Grammy’s he looked gorgeous, despite the Shaggy (taken from Scooby Doo) look, in that black pin striped suit. But then what? Three little words, Men Strike Back (or men strikes back as Kev calls it). The SKIRT? What is that? And the sandals? The Shaggy look was still bothersome to see, but if you would have on just pants and real shoes, then I could be forgiving. Are you and Kristin switching clothes? I guess she does wear the pants in the relationship because you’re wearing the God damned skirts!

Yeah and to add onto the skirt issue, this cool girl from Georgia sent me a video of old stuff and interviews of theirs. The first part is an MTV European special and a girl in the audience asks something along the lines of “Would you follow fashion trends to shave your hair or wear a skirt?” And they answer that they wouldn’t shave their heads. Then Kevin is first to speak up about skirts saying, “I’m not too fond of skirts. So, no, I don’t think I’d wear one.” Why didn’t you think about that one a month ago?!

I just came across the most hideous picture the other day where he has on a black long sleeve shirt, brown leather vest and one of those fisherman’s hats. He looks horrendous with that hat. And his facial hair is all growing out too? And when they were on Howard Stern, he wore that stupid condom hat again? Come on! He claims to be into fashion? Is he shopping with his eyes closed? In the dark?

In the meantime, Mar, Ang and I went to the Johnny No Name concert in Chicago. And it was good. I cannot tell you how good it was unless you’ve seen the show yourself. I love that man for singing Brian McKnight and doing it so well. And he also did Tonic’s Open Up Your Eyes, which I had told Mar just the night before, how much I love that song and no one plays it anymore. And he does it! How wonderful! That man will have no problem when the boys break up. And yes, they will at some point.

So I still have old pictures and a poster from Mar of Kevin looking so great with that “just-got-out-of-Amy’s-bed-head.” And I will always remember that man looking damned good. And in the meantime AJ is finally getting his hair to look normal by keeping it short and staying away from the bleach blonde, mock gerri curls or dreads. So, in the back of my head is AJ, but in the front is Kevin all the way. But I’m thinking of AJ in the present and Kevin about four-five months ago. If not, more.

Then what happens? Oh Lordy. I don’t know when or how or why. But Nick cuts his hair? What is this? And the poster I have of the group that was on the back of my door at school, he has the cutest little smile and Mar starts finding pictures in my weekly planner where he actually looks good. Then she admits to thinking he looks good in the "I Want It That Way" Video. Something she told Itzah and not me when it first came out. I’m still hurt by that!

We watched the Orlando video sometime last semester with Julianni and she starts calling Nick, Fatty because you all know that boy has some junk in his trunk. So that was our way to ignore him, I’m convinced of that. We referred to Howie as “slurp, slurp, wink, wink” and Nick as “fatty.” Then Mar and I, somehow, agree that he’s sliming down. So, we start calling him Slim. Itzah makes the observation that we are being nice to him and why would we? I don’t know.

And then on the newer album, his voice isn’t all whiny anymore. But I think it was the haircut for me. I may say that I fall for the dark hair and light eyes (can anyone say Nick Wiles?). But I am a softy for blondes with blue eyes. Now, I must say I don’t think his hair looked very good on the Grammy’s. But he almost seemed cute in the Ultrasound interviews. And then Mar asks if I would go to his solo concert and I’m like, “um, well maybe if I had really good seats and it were cheap.” She says, “Yeah like if they were first row or practically free.” I know we were both thinking, “Yeah, I’d probably go.” Haha.

So I guess my question is, What happened to Kevin? Then, What happened to Nick? Mar just told me of late that she’s listening to “I Need You Tonight” more often. And I downloaded the live version of MP3. God, what is happening to us? My excuse is that Kevin is taken and I have to move elsewhere. And Howie just doesn’t do it for me.